I really tried, I really did. But, I couldn’t contain it anymore and just ended up doing it all over it. I try to behave as happy as I can be, but in the end I just know I gave up. I’m beyond defeated. As much as I think there’s a reason for me to continue… it quickly falters. I just feel like, it’s the end of the road for me. I smile and say everything is okay and help everybody with their problems. I’m just pushing away people as fast as I can so I can go down alone. I pushed away 5 people successfully. Now, getting rid of two more. I don’t care about my life anymore. I guess that makes me suicidal or does that mean I have an eating disorder. Whatever.